Sunday, March 23, 2008
CAUTION: Super duper emo-y blue long post ahead!
Feeling really blue.. very blue. Overwhelmed with emotions. Anyway, why do they use the colour blue when you feel lousy, gloomy etc?
Really am filled with so much happiness for Korkor when I hear him and Jenn talk bout their bridal pictures. Truly am very happy for him. Esp after having the privilege to share his woes with him during his initial stage of serious relationships in earlier years. Things may not seemed rosy then, his feelings wise were not any better, not esp when he was in TPE but he braved through it all and found his lifetime partner, a very good one. He is so happy now and so is my cousin-in-law. I really truly am very happy for them. Am always so happy to see couples wed even if they are strangers, haha but like Ade puts it, who wont. But you know, it's those kinda happiness you have for them within, esp since it's my cousin. So blessed =)
As I hear them speak and see the happiness in their eyes, I really cant help but wonder bout my own future. Everybody says I'm still young, I should go explore blah blah. I know their good intention but it's not bout being how old. And for all that knows me, well enough, would know how much a relationship means to me, I truly want each to work out. Am not a player, am not an explorer, am just one who wants to be in the arms of my other half at the end of the day.
Truly am very afraid of eveything now, from A to Z, top to bottom, left to right, one to infinity, you get the point. I really dont want to commit myself yet I know how much I want to. But am just so afraid of falling again, am so worried things will not work out, am so scared it's just another passing cloud, am just so.... I also duno.
God is fair and just, as much as I keep asking Him so many whys, will-it-happen, my future, He knows what is running through my mind and heart, which I believes is the answer to all my doubting questions. If you get my point, good for you, if you dont, then it's alright.
And truly God is so amazing, he brought dearest Aow to me at the right time, right time for me to whin at, again. Haha. And though I've yet to read the book that Aow got me, glancing through the chapters, I know God is assuring or telling me something somehow. Plus, Aow's choice of books and recommendations will never go wrong. Thank you for listening, truly appreciate it very much! And am so sorry for bugging n whinning at you, really sorry! Hugss.
On a much much brighter note, God answered that want-to-ask-but-dare-not-ask request at the back of my mind while in Paris =) And it was really sweet of him to bring his camera to show me pictures of Milan and Venice, which I requested before he left. And it's really comforting and happy I must admit when I saw the shirt and scarf being used. It was a short night, nonetheless a beautifully sweet one which I enjoyed very much. Wished so much time would just stopped then. Dont know when will be the next time but am very thankful, heh I obviously hope soon again =)
Hahahah as I type my last para esp, I can imagine Aow's expression as he reads this post, hahahaha, only you know!
Want to post a few more mind bogging nonsense but I'm too tired and I shall spare you all, anyway am sorry to make u all read such emo post. Just need to let it out. I wana head to the gym tmr plus I wana read the book and I better head to get my very much procrastinated hairnets and upins before I run short of the former and get pricked by the latter. Pictures of Paris soon!
And lastly, my dear girls, I am truly very sorry for having neglected each of you. Despite it all, you girls never fail to standby me strongly, watchin over where ever you are. I really am very thankful for each of you. May our seven years and going friendship go strong and like Ade once said, "I'll rather have 4 good friends than a world of acquaintances.
Each of you will always be special to me! I'll like to think that this is something we have all silently agreed the day we decided in our hearts that we're always going to stick around each other."
I agree wholeheartedly! =)
Love you girls very much and I really miss you! Big hugss.
Feeling really blue.. very blue. Overwhelmed with emotions. Anyway, why do they use the colour blue when you feel lousy, gloomy etc?
Really am filled with so much happiness for Korkor when I hear him and Jenn talk bout their bridal pictures. Truly am very happy for him. Esp after having the privilege to share his woes with him during his initial stage of serious relationships in earlier years. Things may not seemed rosy then, his feelings wise were not any better, not esp when he was in TPE but he braved through it all and found his lifetime partner, a very good one. He is so happy now and so is my cousin-in-law. I really truly am very happy for them. Am always so happy to see couples wed even if they are strangers, haha but like Ade puts it, who wont. But you know, it's those kinda happiness you have for them within, esp since it's my cousin. So blessed =)
As I hear them speak and see the happiness in their eyes, I really cant help but wonder bout my own future. Everybody says I'm still young, I should go explore blah blah. I know their good intention but it's not bout being how old. And for all that knows me, well enough, would know how much a relationship means to me, I truly want each to work out. Am not a player, am not an explorer, am just one who wants to be in the arms of my other half at the end of the day.
Truly am very afraid of eveything now, from A to Z, top to bottom, left to right, one to infinity, you get the point. I really dont want to commit myself yet I know how much I want to. But am just so afraid of falling again, am so worried things will not work out, am so scared it's just another passing cloud, am just so.... I also duno.
God is fair and just, as much as I keep asking Him so many whys, will-it-happen, my future, He knows what is running through my mind and heart, which I believes is the answer to all my doubting questions. If you get my point, good for you, if you dont, then it's alright.
And truly God is so amazing, he brought dearest Aow to me at the right time, right time for me to whin at, again. Haha. And though I've yet to read the book that Aow got me, glancing through the chapters, I know God is assuring or telling me something somehow. Plus, Aow's choice of books and recommendations will never go wrong. Thank you for listening, truly appreciate it very much! And am so sorry for bugging n whinning at you, really sorry! Hugss.
On a much much brighter note, God answered that want-to-ask-but-dare-not-ask request at the back of my mind while in Paris =) And it was really sweet of him to bring his camera to show me pictures of Milan and Venice, which I requested before he left. And it's really comforting and happy I must admit when I saw the shirt and scarf being used. It was a short night, nonetheless a beautifully sweet one which I enjoyed very much. Wished so much time would just stopped then. Dont know when will be the next time but am very thankful, heh I obviously hope soon again =)
Hahahah as I type my last para esp, I can imagine Aow's expression as he reads this post, hahahaha, only you know!
Want to post a few more mind bogging nonsense but I'm too tired and I shall spare you all, anyway am sorry to make u all read such emo post. Just need to let it out. I wana head to the gym tmr plus I wana read the book and I better head to get my very much procrastinated hairnets and upins before I run short of the former and get pricked by the latter. Pictures of Paris soon!
And lastly, my dear girls, I am truly very sorry for having neglected each of you. Despite it all, you girls never fail to standby me strongly, watchin over where ever you are. I really am very thankful for each of you. May our seven years and going friendship go strong and like Ade once said, "I'll rather have 4 good friends than a world of acquaintances.
Each of you will always be special to me! I'll like to think that this is something we have all silently agreed the day we decided in our hearts that we're always going to stick around each other."
I agree wholeheartedly! =)
Love you girls very much and I really miss you! Big hugss.
♥ love & blessings
22:19
All I Want For Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey
